It is 2017. This year in May, it will be the 10th anniversary of my mother’s passing. I wrote the following piece when I was about 17. And every word of it is still as relevant as it was all those years ago. All that has changed is that I’m older and wiser, and maybe I’d express myself differently now. But this piece is an imprint of the child in me that will always think of mother in terms of how I knew her for the first 13 years of my life.
It’s been four years now, and it’s still so hard to say…..
Every moment of that day seems just as alive as today…..
The waiting, the hoping, the praying and the tears….
The dread, the despair, the distress and the fear……..
We knew it’d end but which way, we hadn’t known…..
You left us grieving as one but standing all alone……..
We wondered if you’d be back but to the ashes you had turned…
your presence in your absence, like the incense of mourning burned….
All over our home, were the imprints of your hands…..
but your memories were slipping fast, like the seashore sands……
“Why so soon ?”…we asked you, but you never did reply…
And sometimes, even the pain would go and leave the numbness to die…
Then once I asked dad, if you could see me grow and hear me talk….
He put his arm around me and took me outside for a walk……
He said-into in to the heavens, the skies so far above,-
Ma is now with the angels and she’s blessing you with her love”
I still do miss you sometimes and wish you’d still been here….
but papa said that no matter what, you are always near….
I don’t know what happens once we die but here is a promise I want from you…..
If I do my best to find you, then you must do it too…..
I know we’ll be together again and there’s so much I need you to know…..
We’ll talk and laugh like the old times and never again let go….
I was never the perfect daughter and of my duties I had no clue….
But even then, I want you to know, I love you and will always do…..